Afterimage
by MYZ-chan
Summary: -UlquiorraOrihime- Humans prefer the imaginary, the pretty illusions, over reality. -spoilers for chapter 353, future!fic-


Word count: 1,603

This is a tribute to Ulquiorra, that poor soul. Why did Kubo Tite have to kill him off? It's not fair! He should bring him back later for more UlquiorraOrihime goodness. Still, I was pretty happy at the ending of The Ash. It was sad, but he managed to slip in a very pretty scene.

This started out meaning to be a sort of 'passing on' story for Ulquiorra--then, it slowly turned into a 'relationship turnout'. It was odd, but I still enjoyed writing it.

I apologize if the characters are a bit out of character--this is my first Bleach fanfiction, and I'm not experienced at writing their personalities. Forgive me, and perhaps, if you're nice enough, give me advice?

NO FLAMES ABOUT THE CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS/FANDOM ARE ALLOWED. GO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER ELSEWHERE.

* * *

_one_

She's can't help but to see him when she closes her eyes. It's almost as if that now, since she has answered his question, he has decided to haunt her for all of eternity in that form, staring at her with green on black and pale, pale skin.

She hopes not. She is trying to exceed in school, catch up on everything she missed since last year—she doesn't need him watching her every move (even though, secretly, in a twisted way, she is a little bit pleased with this).

She doesn't tell Ichigo. She doesn't tell Rukia, who shows up at the high school nowadays. She doesn't even tell Ishida who still walks around by her side, as if afraid that she will break if he doesn't protect her from the nightmares he imagines that she still has.

Sometimes, she thinks that she will.

* * *

_two_

He's starting to appear around the street corners that she turns into. He often stares at her before she blinks again and he disappears seemingly into thin air.

(Just like then, when he reached for her hand and they almost brushed the fingertips before he became the air around them.)

One time, she's walking in the dark and reaches the streetlamp before she sees him, standing there a few feet away. He's still there, with his eyes gazing into hers and black-lipped mouth closed in a thin line.

They gaze at each other for just a little while until he dissolves back into the air.

* * *

_three_

"Rukia," she asks one day as they prepare for their graduation. "Rukia, I have a question."

The elder woman turns, still straightening the cap and gown just a bit too large for her. "Yes, Orihime?"

She fumbles a bit with her own garments before managing to make them fit. "Rukia, can hollows come back to the living world after they vanish?" From the corner of her eye, she can see him there in the doorway, more solid than he has been in the past three years.

Rukia's brow furrows, and she looks at Orihime clearly for the first time in years. "No, they cannot. Why?"

She knows that Rukia thinks that she is still fragile and delicate and forever scarred by her stay in Las Noches, and for now, she will allow the Shinigami to think that.

"No reason," she says.

From her right side, she sees him vanish and she wishes that he had stayed.

* * *

_four_

She's in college now. It's rather nice, seeing as she can sleep more and have more time to herself, even though her roommate is reclusive and sullen most of the time. She reminds her of a female Ishida, and she smiles at the familiarity.

He hasn't appeared for quite some time now—not since her graduation day. She can't hide her disappointment, can't hide the fact that she wishes that he were back and still there around the corner, under her eyes and in her heart.

She sits in her room and stares at the blank, empty wall in front of her. Her roommate is in class, so she can't talk to her. Ishida and Ichigo are most likely somewhere in their classes. Rukia is in Soul Society, as is Chad, who decided to stay there as well. There's no one to talk to.

She feels just a bit lonely. She bites her lip.

"I wish you were here," she says out loud suddenly, on a whim. "I wish that you hadn't left." Then she picks up her bag sitting under her desk and heads for the door.

(Later that night, she sees him standing on the tree outside her dorm window, and she smiles more brilliantly than she has in a year. Her roommate silently wonders to herself if Orihime has lost her mind.)

* * *

_five_

It seems that these days, he's standing closer than he has before. She wonders if it is because he is becoming clearer, or if it is because he is becoming less cautious, less wary in order to approach.

He stands by her bed while her roommate is deeply asleep across the room. She looks at him. He looks at her.

"I missed you," she says softly.

He doesn't blink, but she can see that he is startled on the inside. He looks away.

"Don't," she says, reaching out for his hand that is not there. "Don't look away, please. It makes me feel lonely."

He looks back.

She smiles.

* * *

_six_

She's passed all her finals, all of the tests that had been needed in order to pass her classes. She's majoring in a doctor's degree, and so far, it's been a success.

She tells him all of this at night, while her roommate is out with her own friends. "I didn't really expect to pass everything. I mean, everything was so hard! It was like if I didn't pass, I would be swept away with the current." She smiles brightly at him. "I hope that made sense. I babble a lot."

"It did." He's starting to talk these days as well. It's a lot of comfort at night, when she's staring at the ceiling and remembering things that she doesn't wish to remember.

"Well, good! It was meant to." She crosses her legs and looks at him with clarity in her eyes. "I'm glad you're here."

* * *

_seven_

"I need to know something," he says suddenly one day, the day after she finishes her first round of college. "I need to know something."

She blinks at him as he stares at her with fervor. "What is it?"

They look at each other before he shakes his head and begins to disappear. "Now is not the time."

* * *

_eight_

She's found a man in her class. He stands up straight, walks with a certain aura around him that makes her want to clutch her heart and gasp. It's rather like her crush with Ichigo back in high school, but right now, it feels like love.

They go out for long while after they meet. She notices that Ulquiorra starts acting just a bit more sullen than usual after this.

* * *

_nine_

She's been dating San for a whole year now. She figures that she's pretty happy, happier than she would have been nine years ago.

(She's barely noticed that Ulquiorra isn't talking as much as before—he hasn't been talking as much since she started dating San)

She ignores the fact that sometimes he forgets that they had a date scheduled. She ignores the fact that sometimes he's a bit mean, a bit cruel and doesn't apologize for it. She ignores the fact that, sometimes, she feels that she doesn't love him. She ignores this, all for the sake of keeping herself happy.

"But will you really be happy?"

She blinks. "What?"

Ulquiorra looks extremely sullen at the moment, with his arms crossed and turned to the wall. "Will you really be happy with him not really loving you?"

Her eyes widen, and she reaches out to slap him—only, she can't. He's just an afterimage, something that doesn't exist anymore, something that only exists inside her dreams and her mind.

He looks at her, and she feels pain at his flattening expression (just like back then, when he died with his hand outstretched to her, wishing, wanting for reassurance, contact). "I see."

And then he vanishes once again, and she stares at the empty wall and cries like the day he died.

* * *

_ten_

She can't really feel anything anymore. Staring at the ceiling, she recalls last night, the night with anger and screaming and 'I hate you' and 'I'm breaking up with you'.

Two years. Two, long years wasted on him.

"You were right," she says out loud to the ceiling, to the nonexistent after-image. "You were right all along. I just didn't want to believe it."

It's silent.

"I was such an idiot."

She feels tears and sobs wrenching at the back of her throat. She misses him so much.

"I need you, Ulquiorra," she sobs at the ceiling, bringing her hands up to her face and covering it, gut-wrenching cries in her heart. She rocks back and forth on the bed. "I need you back. I'm lonely, Ulquiorra. I miss you. I miss you." A little smile, filled with minute-realization and pain, rises to her lips. "I loved you more than him, and I'm so sorry."

She sobs and sobs her heart out until she thinks that she can't take it anymore and her throat is scratchy and raw and her cheeks are puffy and she manages to fall into sleep.

It's later that night, when she's in a limbo between dream and reality, she hears him by her bed, hears him sit down on the mattress silently. She feels (with a jolt in her heart that almost wakes her up completely) his cold hand touch her face—hesitantly, yes, but it was a touch all the same.

"You are in love with an illusion, woman," he whispers in that voice that she missed so much. "You are in love with an illusion that will someday disappear and leave you behind."

Sleepily, she opens her eyes halfway and smiles. "Yes," she says drowsily, "But it is better to have loved than to have never loved at all."

He looks at her for a long time with his piercing emerald eyes.

And then, he smiles.

"I see."


End file.
